


New Phone, Who Dis?

by DuchessKitty16



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Discussion of masturbation, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Making Up, Post-Break Up, Sexting, Texting, only a little of each
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-03-14 12:37:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13590210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DuchessKitty16/pseuds/DuchessKitty16
Summary: Zayn and Liam haven’t spoken in months. Zayn deleted all of the contacts out of his phone for the old friends that he’s cut out of his life. After almost a year of silence between them, Liam texts Zayn one night because he misses his best friend and lover. He texts Zayn, knowing that he might not text him back because of how they ended things. Zayn gets the text but doesn’t recognize that it’s Liam’s number. Zayn thinks it’s one of his new friends that he’s been flirting with, this guy Luc who he met at a fashion show event with Gigi. It’s not until weeks have passed of the two of them exchanging texts that Liam realizes that Zayn doesn’t know it’s him that is texting; Zayn thinks he’s someone else. Liam decides to go with it and keep up the texts because he’s enjoyed the reconnection with Zayn and he misses him so much.Zayn eventually figures it out. But keeps texting Liam, pretending he still thinks it’s Luc. They confess past wrongs and discuss emotional hurt and finally find a way to forgive each other. Zayn finally comes clean that he knows it’s Liam, just as Liam has decided that he was going to confess.Will they resolve their differences and find love again?





	New Phone, Who Dis?

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the 1D Old Lady Slack Galantine's Day Fic Exchange. I loved participating in this exchange and I love my 1D Lady Slack goddesses. Happy Galantine's Day 2018!
> 
> From the prompt - Zayn deletes everyone's number so he doesn't recognize Liam's number when he texts and Liam goes along with the charade just so they can keep talking.

**For[UndieGirl](http://archiveofourown.org/users/UndieGirl/pseuds/UndieGirl)**

Zayn sits back on the dark plush velvet, large sectional sofa in the living room of his new condo in the SoHo neighborhood of New York City. He still hasn’t fully acclimated to this apartment yet; with his recent travel schedule he hasn’t actually been in the city long enough as a semi-permanent resident yet to grow accustomed to the place. The space is sprawling; a loft that once was a garment factory with high ceilings and a bank of floor to ceiling windows that face south and have a view of the Hudson. Zayn realizes in that moment, lying on his too expensive couch looking out at his paid-too-much-for view, that he’s lonely. Usually he doesn’t want to admit to himself that he misses his old bandmates; those four boys who he went through so much with and who truly understood him like nobody has since. He especially hates admitting to himself that he misses one of the four friends particularly; he misses his chocolate brown eyes and his easy smile.

Zayn abruptly sits up and swings his legs off the couch, while giving a shake to his head, as if to snap himself out of a trance. No, he promises himself, he’s not going to let himself think of Liam anymore. They exchanged harsh words months ago, and Zayn knows neither of them has changed their minds since then, so there’s no need going down that nostalgia road; it’s only going to lead to pain.

Zayn stands up and heads into his kitchen; a stark space with fancy appliances and equipment that barely sees any use. In fact, Zayn ponders as he opens up the refrigerator to grab a cold beer, he’s pretty positive that he’s only used the fridge and the microwave. He’s not even sure he owns any pots and pans. This leads to Zayn randomly opening various cabinets and drawers in his kitchen, so he can do a quick inventory of what he owns. What he finds isn’t very encouraging; one saucepan, a box grater, and citrus juicer. Zayn scratches his head in bewilderment, and makes a note to himself to have his assistant Ari order him skillets and other useful appliances. Who knows, Zayn contemplates as he settles back down on the couch and picks up his discarded game controller from earlier this morning, maybe he’ll even learn how to cook elaborate gourmet meals. He laughs to himself as he starts up his FIFA game again.

 

Later on that evening, after he’s worked out in his home gym, taken a shower and ordered Thai take-out, Zayn is just relaxing back on the couch, contemplating what to watch on Netflix, when his phone pings with a text message.

He looks at the screen and sees a UK number that he doesn’t recognize and a message that simply says “ _Hey, don’t know where u r in the world sorry if this wakes you. Just wanted to say hi and that I miss talking to you. – L”_.

Zayn had gotten a new phone a couple of weeks before because his other iPhone had dropped overboard when he had gone with Gigi to a party on somebody’s yacht. He’d lost all of his contacts and was still rebuilding his list. “L” with a UK number could be a lot of people. Zayn’s embarrassed how quickly two names come into his mind; images of their faces and immediate memories of the boys, flooding his brain. Zayn feels a fondness for these boys (one more than the other), and an envy for a time when his life was simpler. He dismisses the thought that the text could be from either of them. Louis for one would never be considerate enough to care whether he was waking someone up, and his texts were always short and to the point. And Liam…well Liam just wouldn’t reach out; Zayn knows this deep in his heart. What they had is damaged beyond repair. After a few moments of going through the rolodex in his mind, Zayn determines that the text must be from Luc, the handsome stylist he met in Paris last month when he’d accompanied Gigi to a couple of shows and a few parties. Zayn smiles at the memory. Luc had been fun; coincidentally at every place they seemed to show up in, and finally admitting at this one event that was held in one of Yolanda’s friends 6th arrondissement penthouse that he’d made a point of finding out if Zayn was going to be there and got himself invited. Luc was fit, charming and self-assured; and he wasn’t afraid to let Zayn know how much he wanted him. Zayn had been flattered, if not that interested, but had definitely enjoyed their conversations on everything from the new _Thor_ and _Doom Patrol_ comics to using samples of old-school R &B like Teddy Pendergrass in music. He had happily exchanged numbers with Luc, but had promptly forgotten about it and lovely blue-eyed Luc from London. But now Luc was reaching out and saying that he missed their conversations, and Zayn would be lying if he said that he wasn’t still looking for a replacement for the amazing and enlightening conversations that he and Liam used to have regularly.

He sits up and texts back, saving the number in his contacts under a new entry for _Luc_.

 

**Zayn: Hey man what’s up**

**good to hear from u**

**in NYC so you didn’t wake me**

 

Zayn immediately sees the three dots indicating that someone is writing back. He doesn’t have to wait more than a second before the response comes through.

 

_L: cool_

_I’m in LA so I haven’t even had dinner yet_

 

**Zayn: What are you going to have?**

**I myself had Thai tonight**

 

_L: mmmm Thai sounds like a good plan_

_tho what I really want is curry_

_from Zayna in Marylebone_

 

**Zayn: STOP I already miss London too much man**

 

_L: Sorry sorry_

_L: Damn now I want curry_

_Any good recs in LA?_

 

**Zayn: Eh not really**

**Zayn: Tamarind is pretty good but the atmosphere stinks**

**Take away only!**

_L: Thanks_

_L: And thanks for answering my texts…_

_I didn’t think you would_

_specially after the way I acted_

Zayn smiles at this last text, remembering how Luc had practically thrown himself on Zayn at that last party.

**Zayn: no problem man**

**Zayn: it’s all good**

**Zayn: go get your dinner and let me get to sleep**

**I have an early day in the studio**

_L: Oh! Love to hear about the new stuff ur working on_

_L: can I text sometime soon and chat?_

**Zayn: that’d be great**

**take care**

_L: Night Zayn_

****************************************************************************************************************** 

 

_L: Saw your Insta about the cold weather in NYC_

_Code Blue?? Sounds serious_

**Z: Fuck it’s so cold here**

**Makes me want to hop on a plan to someplace warm**

_L: Mmm maybe Brazil or the coast of Peru_

_Somewhere south of the equator where it’s summer_

_L: or Jamaica! You could score some quality weed_

Zayn pauses for a moment, puzzled about whether he and Luc had discussed his penchant for marijuana. He dismisses his scrutiny quickly. He was after all involved in one of the most infamous celebrity pot videos leaked on the internet, and anyway, it was no secret in the industry that Gigi was a huge stoner, so maybe it was a case of guilt by association.

 

**Z: LOL that sounds more like it**

**But actually I’ve quit smoking pot**

_L: YOU HAVE??_

**Z: Yeah for now. I’m trying to quit smoking altogether even tobacco**

**Trying to get healthy**

**Work out more, the whole thing.**

 

_L: That’s great Z_

_L: I need to quit smoking cigarettes too._

 

Zayn smiles at the nickname. He wouldn’t have guessed that he and Luc were at the nickname stage yet, but he’s cool with it. He also doesn’t recall Luc being a smoker, but shrugs the thought off.

 

_L: I’ve cut back but still smoke when I drink or when I’m stressed which…is basically all the time._

_L: But back to you freezing your nips off – why don’t you just stay at your LA house?_

**Z: My work is in NY right now. And anyway I’m renting the LA house out to a friend of a friend.**

**It’s large enough that I could crash in an extra bedroom but it would be weird.**

_L: Well I guess ur stuck freezing ur tiny little ass off_

**Z: Hey! I have an ass now! Sort of…**

**I’ve been working out!**

************************************************************************

**January 12, 2018**

 

_L: Happy Birthday Zayn!_

**Z: Thanks**

_L: What are your plans?_

 

**Z: Dinner w/ friends**

**Maybe go to a club**

**Z: It feels weird to be 25**

 

_L: U going thru a ¼ life crisis?_

 

**Z: Maybe. I know that sounds stupid and my da would smack me for saying so**

**Just feeling unsettled. Anxious. Second albums almost always fail.**

 

_L: Yours won’t. ur fucking talented! Everything will work out._

_2018 is going to be a great year for you. For me too._

_I just know it._

 

**Z: Thanks for the pep talk and…**

**well just thanks**

 

*************************************************************************************************

 

_L: Zayn guess what!_

_I was at a party last night that Drake was at!_

_And you’ll never believe the story I heard._

_The last time Drake hosted SNL he had the after party for the cast._

_L: He rented out the Dave & Busters in NYC_

_THE WHOLE PLACE_

_L: all the games and food and liquor was covered. He even flew down strippers_

_from the strip club he owns in Toronto._

_L: He FLEW DOWN HIS OWN STRIPPERS to just dance around D &B’s_

_Who does that?_

 

**Z: Wow. Drake sure knows how to do it up. Did you talk to him last night?**

_L: no I was too chicken_

_He had a whole crew of people around him and was wearing his sunglasses inside this club like what?_

_Instead I just stood in a corner with some people who knew him and gossiped_

 

**Z: LOL**

**Z: why am I having a hard time picturing a Canadian stripper tho?**

 

_L: Ha! I had the same thought!_

_Like there are strip clubs in Canada? It seems so American_

 

**Z: Right?**

 

_L: I knew you’d get it. You were the only person that I wanted to share this with. Thanks Z_

 

Zayn smiles at this last text message, sort of wishing that he was having this conversation with Liam and not Luc. He can imagine Liam getting just as excited about meeting Drake and it causes a pain in his heart to imagine that he’s never going to have silly conversations or get to tease Liam anymore. Zayn shakes his head to snap himself out of his reverie and turns back to the sound board in front of him that he’d been working on when Luc texted.

 

********************************************************************

 

[ ](https://imgur.com/cLcd32U)

_L: Cover boy huh?_

 

**Z: You saw that Elle thing? What am I saying of course you did**

 

_L: What? You look cool!_

 

**Z: Really? I think I look sort of lame. I hate that jumper.**

_L: You look good. Really hot actually._

 

Zayn feels himself blush. He’s still not used to accepting these types of compliments from Luc. He’s only ever cared about one man’s opinion concerning the way he looks. But that man doesn’t seem to care about him anymore, so Zayn figures that it’s probably time to open himself up to someone else’s appreciation.

 

**************************************************************************

[ ](https://imgur.com/gNuV7CY)

_L: Saw your Insta post for World Cancer Day with the pic of you wearing that UnityBand_

_L: I admire you_

 

**Z: Thank you. But I don’t think it’s anything admirable.**

**I’ve been lucky that I haven’t anyone I’m close to affected by cancer**

**Z:  I feel like wearing a bracelet and doing some promo is the least I could do.**

 

_L: Still_

_L: You did something and thousands of people saw it and I just admire that._

_L: You’re amazing Zayn_

 

**Z:  STOP you’re going to give me a big ego. Just go and buy a Unity band or donate some money.**

 

_L:  Already done._

 

Zayn smiles and again gets a fluttery sensation in his stomach. He thinks he’s ready to see Luc again in person.

 

*********************************************************************

 

 

**Sunday, January 28, 2018**

 

[ ](https://imgur.com/jALMLgM)

_L: Damn Z, you look so fucking hot in that pink suit on the grammys red carpet!_

_I love the way you did the white flower thing for #MeToo_

**Z: Aww thanks man. I take that as a real compliment coming someone like you.**

**I picked the color and everything! I didn’t use anybody’s help.**

 

_L: Someone like me?_

 

**Z: Well yknow when a top stylist who’s worked with Gaga and Usher compliments my taste,**

**** **I really take it to heart so thanks.**

 

Liam sits, staring at his phone feeling confusion, then nausea and a little despair settle into his stomach. Stylist?? What? Fucking hell, he screams out loud, Zayn thinks that he’s someone else! Zayn thinks that he’s been texting back and forth for the past three weeks with someone other than Liam. These past few of weeks of joy, the elation that Liam has felt because he and Zayn seemed to be mending; slowly repairing the tears in their hearts. It’s all a lie; a fraud. Liam closes his eyes feeling tears prick behind them. He can’t believe he got his hopes up only to now have them dashed in a moment.

 

Liam springs up from the chair he’s been sitting on at his dining room table and stalks off to the room in his house that he’s recently converted into a large home gym. He spins in a circle around the gym feeling out of sorts and befuddled, his thoughts all muddying together and clouding his vision. He looks down at the jeans and jumper he’s wearing and kicks his trainers off, stripping down to only his black boxer briefs. He shoves his feet back into is trainers and hops on the treadmill, immediately turning it up to its fastest setting and running. Liam runs to try and sort out the complex feeling that are weighing him down. He tries to sweat out the anger, sadness, embarrassment and uncertainty. He runs and he cries; his tears mix with the sweat streaming down his face. He runs until his lungs protest and feel like bursting, and he’s panting out breaths.

Liam jumps up onto the edges of the treadmill and off the moving ramp, turning the machine off and leaning heavily on the handrails while he bends over and wheezes out breaths. Gradually the whirring sounds of the treadmill slow to a stop and Liam is left with only the sounds of his labored breathing. He’s left with only the thoughts in his head. Liam jumps off and onto the padded floor of the gym and moves to the punching bag hanging in the corner. He calls out to Alexa to play some Drake as he straps on a pair of boxing gloves, only to regret this choice as Alexa confirms his request and starts playing “Fake Love”, which reminds Liam of Zayn so much that fresh tears flow from his eyes. He angrily yells at Alexa to play Kendrick Lamar instead and she silently does his bidding and starts playing “HUMBLE”. As Liam wipes away his tears he feels a wave of anger swell inside of him that leads to him punching the bag with all of the force he can manage.

He punches the swinging bag in front of him with his padded fists over and over again. Left right, left right, upper cut, roundhouse, trying to remember his technique. This only leads to him thinking about Zayn again; his lithe and lean olive-skinned body and the way he always looked almost balletic whenever he boxed. Liam is overcome with images of Zayn’s beauty; his arms, his pecs, his lips, his nose, his beautiful face. He lets out a loud, wailing scream and collapses against the punching bag, wrapping his arms around it to hold himself upright. His scream turns into another crying jag that has him slipping to the floor where he wrenches off the boxing gloves and rolls over on his side, bringing his knees up and into a fetal position.

His tears are a mixture of frustration and longing. When he’d reached out to Zayn just after the New Year, he’d been feeling lonely and nostalgic and a little reckless. And he’d been pleasantly surprised when Zayn had immediately replied back. Surprised but so pleased and so hopeful.

Now Liam understands why Zayn had been so quick to respond. He thinks he’s been texting with some other bloke whose name obviously also begins with the letter L and maybe who’s number is close to Liam’s. And when Liam really thinks about that – that Zayn didn’t even recognize his phone number, that maybe he’d even deleted it. It makes Liam’s heart break right down the middle. If Liam grows to be an old man he’ll still remember Zayn’s cell phone number, his favorite foods, the fact that he cries during The Lion King. He remembers everything about Zayn because he loves him.

Liam presses his tear-stained face to the rubber floor mat, wrinkling his nose at the sour smell, which pulls his thoughts away from Zayn. He sits up and then stands, telling Alexa to shut off the music and the lights. He gathers his discarded clothes and heads to his bedroom to take a shower and change. While in the shower he thinks absentmindedly about having a wank, but knows he’d only think about one certain boy’s amber colored eyes and determinedly drops his hand from around his cock, picking up his bottle of sandalwood scented body wash instead. By the time Liam is out of the shower, has dried off and changed into fresh clothes, he’s decided that he’s going to continue the charade. He’s going to text Zayn and continue playing along with whatever he unknowingly got himself involved in. He doesn’t know where any of this is going to lead, but whatever “it” is, it’s brought him closer to Zayn than he’s been in over a year and Liam is going to hold on tight until Zayn figures out what’s going on, or he himself break down and confesses.

 

******************************************************************

 

 

[ ](https://imgur.com/ky1wZnJ)

_L: a ZOEM??!! Really????_

_L: LOL_

_L: WTF_

**Z: Fuck off!**

**Z: Is it really that awful? Fuck. I…kinda like what I wrote.**

**Z: Now I feel stupid.**

_L: Oh no babe. Zayn no. What you wrote was beautiful._

_Really. I was just making fun of the name_

_L: that’s it I swear_

**Z: If you’re teasing me then I can’t even imagine how many shitty comments I have on the post**

_L: I’m not going to lie…it’s not pretty. But seriously most of the comments are lovely. People love the poem!_

_L: Zayn? You there?_

**************************************************************************************************************

_L: Zayn it’s been 2 whole days!_

_Zayn replyyyy :(((_

_L: Zaynie zayn zayn are u ignoring me cos I laughed about the “Zoem”_

_Are u actually annoyed zayn_

_L: Zain :(((_

_L: Answer me babe I miss our chats_

_Well it would be a chat if u FUCKING REPLIED_

_L: Are u dead????? Pls don’t be dead I’m sorry_

_Zayn?!?!?!_

Zayn sighs. He supposes he can’t keep ignoring Luc. His feelings aren’t even all that hurt anymore. He begins to tap out his reply.

**Z: Chill m8 I’m fine. We’re fine.**

Luc’s reply is instantaneous. He sends a link to Zayn’s own Instagram again.

[ ](https://imgur.com/5cI92rC)

_L: I’m glad you didn’t stop posting your poems. They’re really gr8_

**Z: Thanks I guess**

_L: I feel like I shamed you into calling them poems_

_Would you be mad if I said that I miss the Zoems?_

**Z: you are a fucking wanker and I hate you**

_L: you do not!_

_L: wait. You don’t really hate me do you? I said I was sorry!_

_Ur one of the best songwriters and poets that I know._

_L: I swear_

**Z: okay I don’t really hate you.** **J**

*****************************************************************************************************************

 

_L: Man, now it’s me that hates you_

_L: That song you played on the guitar that you posted. It was so fucking beautiful_

_L: Is that the sound your new album is going to have?_

**Z: Thanks. And no, the new album isn’t sounding like that**

**I was just messing around last night decided to record myself**

_L: Well it was amazing. I just wish the video was longer_

_I could listen to you play and sing all night_

_L: And when did you get so good at guitar?? You used to be shit!_

Zayn’s brow furrows as he reads that last text again in bewilderment. He used to be shit at guitar? While that’s true, he’s trying for the life of him to figure out how the hell Luc would know this fact. Once again Zayn tries to chalk this up to a slip of his memory; maybe he and Luc had actually talked about music or guitars. But something is niggling in the back of his brain; he’s had this weird feeling before during his numerous text conversations with Luc over the past month. Luc will text or respond to something with information Zayn would swear he shouldn’t know. Sometimes Zayn himself has been guilty of telling him a story and realizing halfway through his texting that Luc doesn’t know the people he’s referring to, yet Luc responds back as if he does. Is Luc just being nice? Just trying to keep the conversation going? Is Zayn actually dealing with some crazy stalker here? He feels conflicted. Zayn has had some of the deepest and most meaningful conversations with this man over the past few weeks. It feels like they’ve been able to be more honest and open because they’ve stuck with texting and haven’t given in to talking on the phone or Skypeing; although Zayn’s almost given in to his desires to hear Luc’s voice or see his face because his memory of both are fading fast. In their place is a new bond that has been developed strictly from words. It’s one of the things that inspired Zayn to start writing poetry again.

Above all, this past month has made Zayn recognize just how much he’s missed talking and sharing with someone like this. The kinds of things he only ever used to do with Liam and sometimes Louis. This past month talking with Luc has helped to start healing with wounds that he had left when he let Liam go. Because Zayn now understands that he was the one who let go first, it wasn’t Liam. And Zayn hates being the one at fault. He knows he should reach out to Liam now and maybe try to start fixing things, but he’s too hurt and too stubborn to make the first move. He and his pride need Liam to reach out first. Zayn doesn’t want to admit how many nights he’s tossed in his bed lamenting the fact that it was Luc who texted him on January 3 and not Liam.

************************************************************************

Liam stares at Zayn’s latest Instagram post, which is a video taken evidently by blasted Gigi, of Zayn getting a new tattoo. A chest piece that appears to be of a woman’s eyes or face. Liam sits heavily on the edge of his bed and feels a hot rush of pain and jealousy flow through his body like lava down a mountain. Seeing Zayn get a tattoo that he doesn’t know firsthand anything about produces a visceral reaction in Liam. There was a time, not too long ago, when Zayn shared every last detail of every tattoo that he had inked on his body with Liam. A time when Liam knew every story that led to each design; a time when he had the privilege to be able to run his fingers or his tongue along every line of ink embedded in Zayn’s gorgeous, smooth skin. And now here he was, watching a video posted on social media for millions to see, and forced  to guess at the meaning of the permanent mark. Were those the eyes of Zayn’s mother, one of his sisters, were they of Gigi? Liam’s fist involuntarily closed into a fist. He knew it was pointless to be jealous of Gigi Hadid. She and Zayn were extremely close; she had been a good friend when Zayn needed one the most. They might be more than just friends, Liam wasn't sure and knew it wasn't his place to care. But sometimes he couldn't keep his envy and aching heart in check. He pined for Zayn; these weeks of reconnecting, however disingenuous because Liam was now pretending to be someone he wasn't, had been some of the happiest times that Liam had had in months. Liam knew that soon enough Zayn was gloing to make plans with the real "L" and this entire lie that Liam had been nourishing would be exposed. Would Zayn figure out it was him? That he'd been sharing his thoughts and feelings with Liam this entire time, just like old times? Would Zayn forgive him?

At first, Liam wasn't going to mention Zayn's new tattoos, the chest piece and the one on the back of his neck right at the base of his skull; his father's name, Yaser, in cursive script. But he can't stop thinking about them, especially the woman's eyes across his sternum; Liam is dying to know more about them. So late on the evening of February 2, just after Liam had gotten off the phone with Harry, hearing all about his birthday celebrations the night before, Liam hangs up with Harry and picks his phone back up and opens Zayn's last message to him which had surprisingly been about the new Black Panther comic that the author Roxane Gay had written. Whoever the real "L" is, he certainly shares a lot of his interests. Liam feels himself getting more jealous by the second.

_L: So...a new tattoo huh? What made you get that particular chest piece? I couldn't really see the details from the video that was posted. It's a woman's face or something?_

Liam can't believe how fake he sounds, but he's dying to know more about the tattoo. A moment later a photo appears in Liam's messages and when he looks at it his mouth goes dry and he feels his cock start to thicken up in his pants. The photo is of a shirtless Zayn standing in front of a large mirror, that not only reflects Zayn's beautiful image for the camera's lens but also provides a peak into what appears to be his bedroom. Liam notices these details first, as if his brain knew that he needed to prepare himself for the onslaught of beauty that is Zayn's face and body. He's broader but only slightly more muscled than he was when Liam last saw him in a similar state of undress. The work outs that he's been talking about certainly seem to have served him well.

The details of the new tattoo on Zayn’s chest are revealed clearly. A pair of female eyes beautifully sit across his sternum and below the goat stag head near his clavicle, bringing attention to his dark pink nipples. There’s no denying that the eyes look like Gigi’s; it’s as if her face is staring right at Liam. He’s not sure if he’s ever felt this jealous in his entire life.

_L: It’s really beautiful. It’s Gigi right? Her eyes?_

**Z: That’s what everyone is saying**

_L: But what are YOU saying?_

_L: I miss knowing what’s going on inside your head._

_L: like the tattoo that you got for your father_

_You always said that you were going to wait to do it when you had kids_

_What changed? I miss so many things about you, but mostly I just wish we could talk about things the way we used to_

The moment that Liam hits send on the last text, he immediately gasps out “No!”, because he knows he’s fucked up. He’s revealed too much. He got caught up in his heartache and sorrow, and now he’s just exposed everything. Liam feels raw and scared of what’s to come.

************************************************************

Zayn gapes at the last text that comes from Liam, because Zayn now knows that he’s been texting with Liam this whole time not Luc, and staggers to his bed to lie down. He’s dizzy and a little nauseous. Zayn is assaulted by a volatile mix of emotions. Shock is there, along with a little betrayal. Anger at both Liam and himself is twirling around his brain with incredulity. But as he lies on his back and feels the wetness from his tears track down to his ears, Zayn realizes that what he’s experiencing the most is elation. And above all love.

This past month he’s been missing Liam, and feeling guilty about wishing that he was developing this relationship via text and sharing stories with Liam instead of Luc, and it turns out that it’s been Liam the entire time after all! Zayn’s not sure what his next move should be. Should he text back – “BUSTED!” – and see what reaction that gets? Should he call Liam out over the phone? Zayn dismisses that idea right away; he knows that he can’t handle hearing the sound of his voice right this minute, he would for sure cry. For the moment Zayn doesn’t do anything but curl his body on his bed and pull a blanket over himself to rest and to think.

Liam has been pacing in his living room for the past hour. His dog Watson watches him anxiously from his large dog bed in front of the fireplace, his large black eyes following his master as he moves from one side of the room to the other, occasionally muttering to himself. Liam has changed his mind dozens of times about what step he should take next with Zayn. Should he call him? Would Zayn answer? He’s positive that Zayn has worked out that it’s been Liam that he’s been conversing with for the past five weeks. And he’s guessing that Zayn’s radio silence means that he’s angry about the deception. Liam racks his brain trying to remember the various times Zayn wrote something that showed that he thought he was talking to another man. He’d referenced the fashion industry and several people within it that Liam didn’t know but who obviously the other “L” was supposed to. Liam knew that he couldn’t get away with telling Zayn that he didn’t know that Zayn thought he was someone else. He was going to have to be honest from here on out.

Just as Liam is clipping a lead to Watson’s collar, figuring that pacing outside was better for his dog, his sanity and definitely his Berber rug, he feels his phone vibrate and ping with a text notification. He slowly pulls his phone from his pocket and gasps when he sees a text from Zayn.

**Zayn: What do you miss most about me?**

**Is it my smile? My laugh? My mind?**

**My body? Do you miss my body on yours?**

Liam drops his phone as if it’s scalded him. It clatters to the ground at Watson’s feet and the large Great Dane lowers his head to nudge it with his nose. Liam moves him out of the way and picks up the phone to read the text again; he reads it three more times to prove to himself that he’s not dreaming. He slides down against the wall until his bum hits the wood floor. Watson figuring that he’s not getting a walk after all, comes over and lays his body next to Liam and puts his head on his leg, receiving absentminded pets from Liam for his trouble. Liam’s not sure what or how to answer Zayn, so he types in the first thing that pops into his head.

 _Liam:_ _Baby why you always act like you don’t want me? Don’t make me bring up your dirty laundry. We’re always on and off until you’re on me.  You said it was over, but your clothes say different on my bedroom floor_

It takes Zayn two seconds to reply back.

**Zayn: :-)**

The next day when Liam is just returning from doing a radio interview in London with Rita Ora, he sees a brand new Instagram post from Zayn. It’s another “Zoem”, but this one feels like it’s directed at Liam.

**_When the sun settles down and a new autumn breeze flows across the fields of heather, do you think of how you lost me?_ **

**_When the winter reaches its dreary peak and towards the end, when everything turns gray, do you believe we had it all?_ **

**_When it's almost spring and the first flowers bloom, do remember that you miss the way I say your name?_ **

**_When it's summer again and the sun rekindles friendship, all friendships but ours, can you see the reflection of pity in my eyes as we glance at each other?_ **

**_Yours are unbelievingly painful, I always look away first_ **

_Liam: I loved today’s Zoem_

**Zayn: oh yeah? Tell me. Tell me what you loved about it.**

So Liam does. He spends the next few hours lying on his couch texting Zayn and pouring all of his feelings, a year’s worth, into message after message. Some are lighthearted stories about seeing certain films and wishing they were watching them together. Some are lust-filled confessions like when Liam admits that he wanked for days watching the 2 second boomerang of Zayn doing pull-ups wearing the skin tight Spiderman suit that he’d worn for Halloween. Liam blushes with how graphic he gets in the texts, describing what he did and how he used his hands and from Zayn’s replies he knows he got him all hot and bothered too. They keep at it until it’s almost midnight in London and Zayn reluctantly has to sign off because of a business dinner. Liam goes to bed feeling the most hopeful he’s been in over a year.

******************************************************************

It’s been almost a week since Zayn figured out that “L” was Liam. A week in which neither man has actually come clean and said the actual words acknowledging each other, almost as if they both want to hold on to the illusion a little longer. A week filled with flirty texts, serious messages, sometimes angry ones, and a whole lot of lust filled ones. Zayn thinks back to the first sext from Liam, the one about him jerking off to Zayn wearing the Spiderman suit. Liam had gotten him so hard that he had been forced to have an emergency wank in the bathroom of the fancy restaurant his producer had taken him to, in order to be able to have a clear head to discuss business. And since that night, the sexting between them had only become more intense. Zayn keeps some of these texts saved in the Pages app on his phone for safekeeping. He reads these texts at night when he’s feeling particularly lonely. His favorite, the one that makes him light-headed with lust is the one where Liam asked “What would u do 2 me if I was there with u now?” It had been accompanied by a photo of Liam from thighs to neck, naked and holding his hard and dripping cock. Zayn looks at the photo now and touches himself, wishing he could do more than just look. He texts Liam and tells him that very thing later that night.

************************************************************

**February 14, 2018**

Zayn and Gigi are cooking pasta primavera and listening to old Janet Jackson tunes while dancing around the kitchen in his apartment on Valentine’s Day evening. Neither of them had made other plans, so cooking dinner and watching some Netflix seemed like a good plan. He’d told her all about Liam; about the texts and the mistaken identity, the flirting and the rekindling of something he wasn’t sure he was ready to think about yet. Gigi tells him that he needs to jump on this opportunity and tell Liam that he wants him back; on his terms, whatever they are. She scolds Zayn that he shouldn’t have given Liam an ultimatum back then, telling Liam to choose Zayn or the band, and she admonishes Zayn for not being more understanding when Liam didn’t come running into his arms once the band went on hiatus. Why was Zayn surprised that Liam wanted to explore a solo career after the band took a break. Hadn’t Zayn wanted the same opportunities when he left? Zayn knows that Gigi is right and cherishes the fact that he has her as a best friend. He doesn’t know what he would do without her on his side.

Just as he’s taking the garlic bread out of the oven, Zayn hears his phone ping with a text.

_Liam: Happy V day!_

**Zayn: same to you**

_Liam: I think it’s time we stop this texting business and see each other in person_

_whaddya think?_

_I don’t want to rush u but I also miss u like crazy!_

Zayn is silent for a few moments. He holds up his phone screen to Gigi and she reads the messages and smiles.

“Fucking go for it, Z! What are you waiting for?” Gigi punctuates her statements with the serving fork she’s brandishing.

“Alright! I don’t know what to say though. What should I say, G?”

“That you love him and miss him and want to smooch him til the end of time, you mook!” Gigi shakes her hair off her shoulders and rolls her eyes as Zayn picks up his phone again.

**Zayn: I miss you too**

**and yeah id like to see u in person soon too**

Zayn has just hit the send button when there’s a knock on his door. He looks at Gigi who just shrugs her shoulders in bewilderment and heads towards the door. Zayn is a little concerned because the building is heavily secured and the doormen have a strict policy of not letting anyone into the elevators who haven’t been approved by a resident first, so he approaches cautiously hoping that it isn’t one of his neighbors complaining that they’re playing Janet too loud. He gets to the door and regrets not having a keyhole to look through, but throws caution to the wind and opens the door.

Then promptly shuts it again when he sees who’s standing there smiling at him. Gigi comes around the corner from the kitchen takes in Zayn’s shocked appearance and asks him who’s there just as there’s another series of knocks on the door.

“What are you doing? Who is it? The old lady next door? A crazy fan?”

“It’s LIAM!” Zayn stage whispers. “What should I do?”

“Open the door you idiot!” Gigi sasses back.

“I did already and then I closed it in his face. That’s not good, right? I shouldn’t have done that?” Zayn feels on the verge of a panic attack.

“Why did you do a dumb thing like that?”

“I don’t know. I panicked! I look like shit.” Zayn waves his hands down his body motioning to his tomato sauce stained hoodie and his baggy, faded jeans.

Gigi yells “Oh come off it!”, just as Liam speaks up on the other side of the door. “I can hear you guys, you know.”

Gigi throws her hands up in the air and returns to the kitchen, leaving Zayn no other choice but to turn around and open his front door again.

“Hi.” Liam says with a small smile.

“Hi.” Zayn responds in a soft voice, looking up at Liam from under his long eyelashes. “I’m sorry I closed the door on your face. It’s a lovely face. I didn’t mean to, you just surprised me.”

“I know. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was coming. But I knew that if I did, you might talk me out of coming here and I couldn’t go one more day without actually seeing your face. Not in some magazine or on TV, your actual flesh and blood face. And I also just want a hug.”

Zayn smiles at this and pulls Liam by the hand towards him and into a hug. Liam wraps his arms around Zayn and lifts him off the ground in a strong embrace.

“I’ve missed your hugs. You’re seriously the best hugger.” Zayn says into Liam’s ear, placing a small kiss on the skin beneath the lobe.

“I’ve just missed you. Every part of you.” Liam replies back holding Zayn tighter.

They stand just inside the front door holding each other and whispering sweet welcomes as Gigi walks by them, pulling on her coat and a pair of gloves.

Zayn croaks out, “Where are you going?”, just as Liam bashfully waves and says, “Nice to see you, Gigi”.

Gigi lifts up the tote bag in her hand as she heads out the door. “I stole some Tupperware from you and half the pasta and garlic bread. Have a nice Valentine’s dinner boys.” And with that, Gigi leaves the two men with a mischievous smile.

“Did I hear her say pasta and garlic bread?” Liam asks with a hopeful tone.

Zayn rolls his eyes fondly and smacks a kiss to Liam’s cheek. “Come on Hungry, we’ll see how much Gigi left us.” And they walk hand in hand into the kitchen.

 

**_FIN_ **

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks as always to the lovely Chris for being my beta and proofreader.


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